So that was my big plan. Get out of the class. Drop it or drop dead! Now some of you probably have nerves of steel, but I was a twenty year old spineless jellyfish at the time. My shaking, skinny legs led me right to the door of my advisor, Miss Pat. Now, I didn't run into her office with my tail between my legs, like you might think, because I was confident I could drop.
Me: Ms Pat, I'd like to drop, Short Story, blah, blah with Raymond Carver. I just really don't like writing short stories. Poetry or Fiction is something I'm more interested in learning.
Ms Pat: Liz, I'm sorry but its too late. At this point, you'll be given an incomplete.
Me: (Shit! Where have I been? A day late and a dollar short as usual) But I thought the drop date was September 30...
Ms Pat: Liz, today is October 30. So, is there anything I can do to help you? You know Mr. Carver is a very prestigious author, and we're very lucky to have him.
Me: Well, can you notify my next of kin if something happens to me? (Ms Pat laughs)
Seriously, Ms Pat, I guess I just don't understand what he's saying most of the time. He doesn't speak in complete sentences, so I get the assignment wrong a lot. And then he just gives you this real intimidating look, like you're his last meal. I mean, I crank out just enough he hasn't killed me yet. But it's coming Ms Pat. I can feel it.
Ms Pat: Hmmm, Liz you could go ahead and take the Incomplete, but with your GPA at 0.20, I wouldn't do it. I'd stick it out and try harder. He really is a very nice man. And he's a wonderful author of short stories. Liz, I'm having a difficult time understanding why you two don't seem to be hitting it off. What's your grade right now?
Me: It's hovering around the continental divide, Ms Pat. We're supposed to do a short story for our midterm and final. Midterm is Monday and I haven't started it yet.
Ms Pat: I'd say you need to get started then Liz. Do your best. Even a D is better than an incomplete in your case.
Me: Ok, Ms Pat. But,just in case I don't make, in lieu of flowers would you please kick his ass. Thanks.