Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Shiver my Timbers as Doug sings soprano!

I recovered quickly however. "Did you say your name was Jason?"

"No, my name is Richard."

"My name is Liz and you can call me Liz." He smiled, and then the eyes rolled over in his head,like in the Exorcist."So, where are you from Richard?"

"From LA. I'm here to see my uncle and cousin. They live here. (Of course I'm thinking why aren't you at their house instead of here...with me.)

"Oh, so you're not from LA then."

"No, I was born here in Hicktown Texas. I hated my dad so I moved out to LA to be as far away as possible from him. Otherwise, I would end up killing him." (The way he said killing made me believe he was telling me the truth.) He looked at me with a hooded look. "How about you Liz? Where do you live?"

"I live here in Hicktown."


"Oh, in an apartment on the East side." (make mental note to call dorms and evacuate)

He leaned over the counter and said,"I stayed with Doug last night." (for the third time, yes I know) He's wierd." (He's wierd? Which planet Hell did you come from?) Yeah, I think he wanted to have sex with me. But I'm not like that at all. I told him to fuck off or die."

"So, you were trying to be polite about it! Well, that's good. Doug responds real well to good manners."

Richard shook his curly black hair and laughing said,"You're funny. I like you." (Is this a good sign?)

I reply modestly,"Well, most people think I'm wierd actually."

He was further amused."Really? Why?"

"Because I don't hesitate to tell people to fuck off and die. That upsets alot of people." (Now, see I'm using unusual psychology here. Can you figure it out?)

At this point, Doug shadows in and tries to hide in the office. He is not glad to see Richard. It's obvious that Richard got a ride out to the University, simply because Doug was dumping him in someone else's lap. Thank You Doug.

I'm watching Richard now, and his eyes are following Doug all over as the little rat tries to hide, thus avoiding anymore communication with Richard.

Richard doesn't buy the act, because he's not dumb! "So Doug, let's go to lunch man. I'm hungry." Doug finally came out of hiding and said,

"Well, Richard I've got alot of work to do, so I can't leave right now, but Liz has a lunch break coming up and I'm sure she'd be glad to show you where the lunchroom's are. Right Liz? (If my feet were daggers, Doug was castrated.) Well, what could I do? Say no, and risk this nut going haywire like his eyes were constantly telegraphing? Or, do I get him the hell out of there, and pray to God he doesn't carve me into pumpkin pies?

Stay tuned. Does Doug lose his balls? Or has he lost them already? Or does Richard take care of that at some future date? Do I come back and beat the hell out of Doug? Do I come back from lunch at all? These and other questions will be answered in the next installment.