CorpusOrgan1: Of course pizza exists.
Lil’Con: Or, perhaps it’s tasty deliciousness is all in our heads. It tastes good because we believe it to.
TheGreatPlato: If we can believe things to taste good, everything would taste good.
CorpusOrgan1: Maybe it’s physical existence doesn’t matter at all. If we warrant its existence, it will exist.
TheGreatPlato: So if I wanted to will something to not exist, could I? Are you telling me that if I take this bag of Cheetos, believe it does not exist, it will disappear?
CorpusOrgan1: That’s not exactly what I’m saying, but its possible.
TheGreatPlato: Well lets give it a try, shall we? Cheetos, I will you to no longer exist.
. . .
Lil’Con: Is it still there?
TheGreatPlato: No, Confucius, it’s completely gone! Everything Aristotle said was right!
TheGreatPlato: My god! The things I could do now that I can make things disappear! No more homework, no more anchovies, maybe I can even make the Universe disappear! Do you think it possible, Aristotle?
CorpusOrgan1: I think it possible that you can will that bag of Cheetos back into existence and choke on it’s contents, Plato.
Lil’Con: Wait, I’m confused are we being serious or sarcastic?
TheGreatPlato: I’m as serious as the existence of Aristotle.
Lil’Con: So . . . not at all?
CorpusOrgan1: Let’s not go back to the idea of the “existence of people”, boys. Let’s stick to the topic at hand: Pizza.
TheGreatPlato: Hold on, mother’s calling. Brb.
*Five minutes later*
TheGreatPlato: I don’t believe this! That psychotic baby!
Lil’Con: What happened?
TheGreatPlato: Socrates told his mother I bullied him out of the club, and she called my mother to complain! I’ve been grounded, effective starting tomorrow!
CorpusOrgan1: He went to his mother? That’s low, even for him.
TheGreatPlato: I know. I also have to let him back in the club, and be nice to him from now on.
TheGreatPlato: Prepare yourselves. He is officially unblocked as of . . . now.
SocRocks9 has been added to the group.
SocRocks9 has logged on.
TheGreatPlato: Hello, Socrates.
SocRocks9: hi dickwads.
CorpusOrgan1: Socrates, how could you? Getting Plato in trouble with his mother!
SocRocks9: just wait until you get home aristotle. my mom called your mom too.
CorpusOrgan1: . . . No, you didn’t. You wouldn’t.
SocRocks9: i didnt, my mom did.
Lil’Con: Socrates, I know how upset you must feel, but can’t you find within yourself enough positive energy to move past it and not resort to such . . . childish moves?
SocRocks9: you think thats childish? my mom is over at the neighbors right now, calling your mom.
TheGreatPlato: Your phone was working well enough when we got our joyous call, why is she using the neighbors?
SocRocks9: she doesnt want to pay the international fees. she said she would tell the neighbors our phone broke and she needed to call our dying grandma in China.
TheGreatPlato: Class just runs right down the line in your family, doesn’t it?
SocRocks9: SHUT UP PLATO DONT TALK ABOUT MY MOM
Lil’Con: But Socrates, I don’t live in China.
. . .
SocRocks9: your lying. she looked up your number online.
Lil’Con: I’m not lying, we live in Indiana.
SocRocks9: but it says there is a confucius family in china, isn’t that you?
. . .
Lil’Con: Confucius is my first name, Socrates.
SocRocks9: then who is she on the phone with??
Lil’Con: I don’t know, but it isn’t my mother.
TheGreatPlato: I can see intelligence runs strong in your line, too, Socrates.
SocRocks9: I SWEAR TO GOD PLATO IF YOU DON’T STOP TALKING ABOUT MY MOM
TheGreatPlato: How about this. I’ll stop talking about you and your oh so “elegant” mother, if you stop making up lies about me.
SocRocks9: I DIDNT MAKE UP ANYTHING YOU LITERAL SON OF A BITCH.
TheGreatPlato: Thank you, Socrates.
SocRocks9: FOR WHAT BUTTWING?
TheGreatPlato: You’ll see. I’ll brb.
*2 minutes later*
TheGreatPlato: I’ve just shown my mother what you wrote to me today and last week. I’ve been given permission to kick you back out of the club.
TheGreatPlato: You should also expect to hear from your mother soon. My mother is on the phone with her now.
TheGreatPlato: Yes. Goodbye again, Socrates.
SocRocks9: YOU PIECE OF —
SocRocks9 has been disconnected.SocRocks9 has been blocked from the group.